100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband HIS Way

HaPpY  ♥  LoVe ♥  DaY!!

I received a very challenging email a few days ago and

I wanted to share it with you.

First off,

when I went through this list

I had a few questions that came to mind:

What would happen if

 I did this challenge?

What is the worst that could happen?

Is it possible that I might find out that

I am not

as loving to my husband as I should be?

Am I humble enough to admit

that I can make a difference in

our marriage?

*♥*♥*♥*♥*

Marriage is very hard! 

I speak generally;and I include myself in this:
I try to remember that it takes

two to tango;

and at times it may feel like a tango;

 particularly when a disagreement comes up.

We are not perfect but it

 is so hard for us{women} to be agreeable at times,
especially when we know that he {that man!} is wrong!
And especially during that
"time of the month"!

Going back to my statement that it takes two to tango;

it takes two to have an arguement.

Do you know why we argue?

The answer can be found here in

Proverbs 13:10a

 "Only by pride cometh contention:"

So, according to Proverbs

Pride is the problem.

If we take a honest look at ourselves we will see that we are prideful.

We want to be right and prove that he is wrong.

We are so sure that we know everything! 

What does this man know?

Truly the contention is only brought on because two people are being prideful

and each wants their own way-and to be correct.

It is difficult!

But we must strive to bring glory to God through our marraiges.

Remembering that marraige was His idea in the first place.

*♥*♥*♥*♥*

Maybe this list is a step in the right direction;

and maybe it is a Godsent to someone out there

I know that it has encouraged me to strive to be more loving

so that I can be loved more.

We never reach godly perfection but we should strive towards it everyday.


*♥*♥*♥*♥*
Here is the email I received:

(Author Unknown)

Discuss this list with your husband. Ask him to check the ones most meaningful to him and then arrange them in order of importance to him. Use this list as a basis for learning his views. Your relationship can be greatly strengthened as you use these suggestions.


1. Respectfully communicate with him.

2. Let him know he’s important to you.

3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.

4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.

5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)

6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.

7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (Dave Ramsey)

8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.

9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.

10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.

11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion and giving him time to adjust.

12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.

13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.

14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.

15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.

16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes a positive experience. (And then ease into the negative if it’s necessary.)

17. Give him half an hour to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)

18. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.

19. Compliment him often.

20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.

21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.

22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.

23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.

24. Find ways to show him you need him.

25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)

26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.

27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Remember that love protects (1 Corinthians 13:7).

28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.

29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.

30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).

31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).

32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.

33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.

34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.

35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).

36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.

37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).

38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.

39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.

40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.

41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.

42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.

43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief when he’s tired—sometimes men can feel “flooded” by too many words).

44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.

45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).

46. Give him time to unwind for a little while after he comes home from work. Arrange ahead of time to take your “time out”, giving him a few minutes with the children.

47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it’s a sacrifice worth making.)

48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.

49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.

50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.

51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.

52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.

53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”

54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.

55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.

56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.

57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).

58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”

59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.

60. Do little things for him— let him sleep in, bring him coffee and/or breakfast in bed, etc.

61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.

62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.

63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.

64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.

65. Discover his sexual needs.

66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.

67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.

68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he miss-speaks.

69. Don’t quarrel over words.

70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)

71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.

72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”

73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.

74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.

75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.

76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.

77. Tell him you love him more often.

78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.

79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.

80. Don’t expect him to read your mind. (Family’s are spared grief when a husband isn’t required to read their wife’s mind despite the fact that the wife thinks he should.)

81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.

82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)

83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.

84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.

85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”

86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.

87. Visit his childhood home with him.

88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.

89. Pray for him.

90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.

91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.

92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.

93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.

94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.

95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.

96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.

97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.

98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.

99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.

100. Thank him for just being himself.

A Wise Mother Guards Her Home-Featured Article

This is an article written by A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Very very good article-I know of a few people who live day to day in the rush of the world...enjoy the good reading material here!

She was busy running the women's ministry at church. She would rush home and get ready for her MOPS meeting and then later in the day she knew she would somehow try to fit in the desperately needed shopping trip to host the monthly bible study in her home. She also had to run Johnny to soccer practice and little Suzy to her ballet class. She had forgotten to make dinner again and hubby would be home soon not to mention she hadn't touched the growing pile of laundry for days. She was tired, overwhelmed, and burnt out.

With all these seemingly good activites, she felt a gnawing at her soul. She had not read to her children for months, and yesterday she had yelled at her husband because she felt burdened by all the housework that she had to do when she finally did make it home from being out. She sunk despairingly down into her chair and saw an unfinished sewing project laying in a basket nearby and wondered when she would ever have time to even think about when she could complete such a project. She knew something in her life was amiss---but didn't she have the life she had always dreamed of? Didn't she take on these commitments with good intentions to serving her Lord?

Women were designed to be helpmeets, it is within our intrinsic nature to want to be available whenever there is a need. But we often do not pray before we take on new commitments as we blindly nod and say yes to fill someone elses needs. We forget to seek wise counsel and ask our husband what he thinks. Before we know it we have schedules that are swamped with well-meaning duties and obligations that were never intended for us, distracting us from our first responsibilities---time with God, our husbands and our children.

We have forsaken what is good with what is BEST. The days can be filled with many temptations, all enticing our souls, minds and our hearts away what is God's best for us. I believe many of us unknowingly choose such busyness for our lives falsely assuming it is the norm, but what we really need is to just live more simply. Simplicity helps to restore peace and order.

Sometimes we need to pare away the unnecessary things in our lives. This might be saying no to outside activities or events. This might be stepping down from some ministry positions we have found ourselves in. This could be putting some of your favorite craft projects on hold to be able to do some real work around the home. This might also mean taking a long break from the internet if we find it always tugging at our hearts pulling us away from our first duties.

If we find ourselves unsure if this is taking place we should ask ourselves a few questions: Are our homes in order? Are we getting meals to our husbands on time? Is the training and education of our children being neglected? Are the clothes in good repair and washed? All of these things take time and they are important. The mandate in Titus 2 is to love our husbands, love our children, to be self controlled, pure, kind, keepers at home and submissive to our own husbands, so that the word of God may not blasphemed. When we are doing these things, we are doing the Lord's work that He commanded us to do. These things to do not have to perfect, no home with people living in it will ever be, but we need to try to do our best in doing what we can in our circumstances.

Mother, turn your heart towards home!!! If you have a straying heart that always wants to be out shopping and driving all over town, surfing the net, emotionally distracted and absent with the non-important, pray that the Lord will give you a heart to stay home, to be present, to love it and to faithfully learn how to manage it well. It is well known that the woman is the heart of the home------but if she is gone all the time, now the home is lonely and empty. The mother is the one who helps fulfill the vision of her husband and puts into action cultivating the culture, warmth, order and atmosphere of the home, something that is impossible to fulfill being physically or mentally absent. It is hard to look well to the ways of our home and those in it if we are distracted by other so called "good" commitments or pursuits that are not required of us. We must use our best energies toward giving our all to our loved ones, not just our leftovers. May the Lord give us all wisdom on what might need to be eliminated from our lives, or our childrens lives, to preserve the sanctity of our precious family time and to manage our homes well.

Choosing Between Right and Happy

This article is wonderful and very well spoken-enjoy!!! So well said!!

This post comes to you from Old Fashioned Motherhood by Mama Rachel

Monday, April 26, 2010
Choosing Between Right and Happy

I watched an interesting exchange between a husband and wife this weekend, and it has made me ponder some things that I want to share here.

Picture this: Our family is sitting in the children's Primary room of our local church building watching our semi-annual stake conference meetings over closed-circuit television. We usually sit in one of these rooms because 1) We're never there early enough to snag a pew in the crowded chapel, and 2) I don't expect our children to all sit calmly and quietly through two full hours of speakers, and I don't want to disturb others who are trying to listen-- unless they're in one of the extra rooms, too, I guess. (Most of the other families in those rooms have kids the same age as our small "noise offenders", so we're all pretty much in the same boat, anyway...)

So, we were getting our own kids settled when another couple with their three small children filed into the chairs a couple of rows in front of us. They had two cute little boys and an adorable little girl who waved to our youngest. (Who just stared at this strange child-her-size in wonder.)

As the meeting started, the wife started in on the husband with pure vitriol in her expression and her voice:

"No, I want to sit over there, so she doesn't go down the center aisle."

"So we shouldn't sit here?"

"I don't know. Whatever, it's fine. You're the boss,"she snipped.

He chuckled without mirth, "Oh, no. You're the boss. I'm fine."

The tension from both of them oozed into the room, and stayed throughout the meeting.

When their baby started crying, the wife hissed, "Take her!"

The husband was frozen throughout it all. He seemed to want to help, but when he tried to, his wife gave him such a scathing look, that he backed off, only to have her then berate him for not helping.

This exchange went on and on. Sometimes she would go walk the hall with the baby, and then when he'd offer to take the little one, his wife would snap at him again. You could practically hear her thoughts: "Only I can do it right," "Why doesn't he just help me?!" "I'm the only one who does anything in this family!" (NOTE: I can recognize what she was thinking because I've had similar thoughts at times...)

It was so sad to see the two little boys reacting to the tension, when they didn't seem to quite know what to do. It was almost tragic to hear the speakers talk in the background about love between spouses, love in the home, conversion and Christ-like forgiveness, and then see how this family was so bound by contention and anger, right before our eyes.

Now, I don't presume to know what this family's home is like. I don't know their circumstances, I don't know anything about their marriage. In fact, they are complete strangers to me! But, their obvious behavior in that room yesterday has made me evaluate my own feelings toward my spouse and family over and over again.

My thoughts have run the gambit:

•Is it better for a wife to berate her husband, than for a man to scold his wife?
•What do we teach our sons when we disrespect our husbands?
•What do we teach our daughters?
•Do we recognize mother-martyrdom for what it really is: Passive-aggressive punishment?
•Are we acting like devoted, loving spouses when we snap at each other?
•Do we continue to act in anger toward one another for hours or days at a time without resolving the real issues at hand?
•Where is the love in this kind of marriage?
I'm not interested in the feminist argument that men have been treating women badly for years and years-- BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...

This is not about placing blame on others. This is about taking an honest look at ourselves and how we treat our husbands. Do we appreciate and acknowledge all they do to support our family? Do we recognize their sacrifices, their efforts, and the many ways they show love to us every day?

Of course, we are all grateful when our husbands step in to take a screaming baby, or change a stinky diaper, or wash a sink full of dishes. BUT we should also show our appreciation and love to him, in ways that he understands loud and clear. (And I'd like to say that showing love does not include throwing more children/diapers/dishes his way as a token of our gratitude and esteem-- you know what I mean?)

Saturday evening, my husband and I attended the scheduled meeting for adults with a talk given by Elder Wright, our new Area Seventy. He told a story about his wife that had happened earlier that afternoon. He told us that he recently bought a new car, at his wife's request, so that his daughter could have the use of his older vehicle. It was parked out on the street while he was inside, studying to give us this talk. At the same time, his wife was helping their son with a service project, that involved painting some cabinets, in the driveway. His son came in chuckling, laughing about how Mom was using the paint sprayer on the cabinets to make the work go faster, and Elder Wright thought he'd go out and see their progress. As he watched his wife use the sprayer, he could see a cloud of paint float over and settle on his brand new car.

He said time seemed to stand still, and in that instant some marital advice came into his mind.

"Do I want to be RIGHT, or do I want to be HAPPY?"

He kindly approached his wife, and pointed out what was happening to the new car. She gasped, and then started to laugh. And then he joined her in having a good chuckle over the accidental paint job.

So is it so very difficult to greet him when he comes home with a smile and a kiss? Is it so hard to dress up and put make-up on every now and then, just for HIM? (And not because we have someplace to go.) What about putting the kids to bed early every now and then for a back rub and some "alone time"?

Lovely ladies, NONE of us feel better when we enter "the martyr zone"! None of us feel more loved when we spew forth nagging words and dirty looks. No one ever could-- especially not the men in our lives. It is those who choose to serve their spouses unselfishly that will have the kinds of blissful marriages we all long for.

Of course there are exceptions in every thing, but I'm not talking about the "exception" here. I'm talking to all of you out there who KNOW you are married to a good man, even if you may not be feeling the marriage-bliss right now. You have days of overwhelm and frustration-- I know that! (Me, too!) But adding more contention and anger to our lives will not solve our problems in the least NOR make us happy.

UNSELFISH LOVE WILL.

Is there something we can do for our husbands today? Just a thought to ponder...

"A true wife makes a man's life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love 'turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward.' While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence she brings out in him whatever is nobles and richest in his being. She inspires him with her courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path. -JR Miller

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A Wise Woman Builds Her Home